Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have aggressive nipples.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
