were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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