we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
