happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
