but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
