dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
His nipple licking is glorious
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