You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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