Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
