Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I need help removing her.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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