i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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