I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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