i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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