Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
that may or may not have been my penis.
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