I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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