On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Still dying that you shit outside
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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