Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
