I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
