Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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