Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
