I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
