Is it normal to miss your booty call?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
