I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
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Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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