I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
