Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
