I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
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