someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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