so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
