When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
