I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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