can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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