Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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