is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
