i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
