i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
