Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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