I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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