he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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