i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
