I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
