remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
