I think my vagina is haunted
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
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He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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