and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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