how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
