I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
