Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
