Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
