people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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