Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
