my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
