sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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