Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
This is classic penis vs brain.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
