I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
