your parents love me but you hate me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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