I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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