Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
