Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
