Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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