Sry I called you an 8
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize