I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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