she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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