Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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