You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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