ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
